break out the sex toys

today i helped a friend of mine buy his first sex toy.

today i walked ALL over lower manhattan - east side, west side, bowery, village, chelsea. i was in 3 sex shops, 1 of which was toys in babeland, which makes me very happy. seriously, sex therapy is my fall back career. ask me anything, i'm knowledgeable.

the only problem is the people i was with didn't seem to enjoy it lots. one of them was intensely reminded of her ex-boyfriend, which sucks, another was there for the first time and it's very hard not to be freaked out the first time you're in a sex shoppe no matter how cool you are, and the other was the gay man who i basically forced to buy a bunch of condoms and lube samples and i kinda urged him to buy his toy. i wanted to be encouraging and supportive, but it's always hard for me to draw the line between that and pushy.

and i got the ultimate "hi, i'm your fairy godmother" dress (should i have talked down his price?) and a really awesome coach purse for 10 bucks (which i normally wouldn't mention, but coach for $10 is pretty exciting . . . coach reminds me of my grandmother. a lot of brands and department stores do. she knew how to dress, and had she been born 50 years later maybe she would have pursued her fashion talents).

i saw A Dirty Shame last night. highly recommend it. fucked up john waters sex movie.

i need to sleep with someone so badly i can't even come up with witty wordplay about it.

between adam's current food obsession, emily feeling fat, jessica being in conditioning for lacrosse, and the fact that the two people i hang out with most are stick figures, i'm feeling really food/body conscious. i don't want to go into gory details here, because i think self-loathing isn't pretty, but it sucks. i don't want to go clothes shopping anymore, especially not with people who weigh 98 pounds. and it's not their fault. (it's not my fault either, i am not morbidly obese, i'm within reasonable human weight ranges. really. not that morbidly obese people shouldn't be able to find clothing, either.) and most of the people i know are fairly skinny. especially the male people, and i barely know ANY male people right now! and i hate it and i hate hearing about how fat they feel. what am i, a beached whale?

enough of that. break out the sex toys!

"rupaul looks great for 45. she's the madonna of my people." - joe