sleep naked!

the cincinnatti airport isn't in cincinnatti. it's not even in fucking ohio. (it's in fucking kentucky, and i will be there tomorrow.)

for those of you who didn't get to see my away message:
cost of quinacrine sterilization, assuming you already have an IUD inserter handy: $5
number of women who have been sterilized this way worldwide: 100,000 and counting
number of regulatory agencies in the world that have found this method medically sound and ethical: 0
number of pages it took me to prove that this is bad: 23.5
being done with komozi's motherfucking bitch of a paper: priceless

and now, an ode to naked naps. (which i invented, patent pending.)

naked naps are what happens when you wake up with no particular timetable for the day, putter around a bit in your jammies or robe, and eventually, lackadaisically, wander off in the direction of a shower. you then turn the heat up real high (actually, this should be done pre-shower to make sure your room is toasty), and crawl back into bed. naked. warm. cuddly. sleepy.

they are the Best. Thing. Ever. being warm is great. being clean is great. being naked for no apparent reason can be great. having nothing to do is great. sleeping is fucking awesome. put all these things together, and my friend you are one quart of ice cream short of paradise. also, naked naps involve reading. that's what you do before you fall asleep (why, what were YOU thinking?). and not anything heavy, either, unless you're engrossed in a great novel. naked nap reading should be fluffy - entertainment weekly, sports illustrated, an anna maxted book. the heat should be up so high you might catch on fire - naked naps originated in the winter, but you can do them in summer, sans heat, obviously.

you cannot just take off your clothes and climb into bed. that is cheating. the shower, the warmth, the wet hair that dries against your pillow - these are all key parts of the naked nap. also, for it to be a true naked nap, it should be alone, at least until you're good at it - otherwise it's just a thinly veiled excuse for sex, which is fine, just don't call it a naked nap because you aren't sleeping. also, i don't think naked naps can be done in a twin bed. i just don't have much faith. but then, i haven't really tried. it's an awesome way to kill a saturday, though. it's mostly a saturday morning activity, come to think of it. (one variant is to get up and go to yoga/pilates/dance/karate unshowered, come home and shower and return to bed, though usually pilates leaves me feeling energized and productive. anyway.)

so there ya go. if you don't have roommates, if you live alone, if you're happy and you know it, try a naked nap. i plan on doing it a LOT this break if i can, meaning when jess and emily aren't sleeping in my room. best thing ever!