traditional end-of-semester stress post

with a twist.

you see, SLC sucks. the school being so poor, and so many people going abroad, they decided it made financial sense to not have your gift aid travel with you when you go abroad.

the majority of my financial aid is gift.

ergo, studying abroad is actually more expensive for me than my time at ol Sadie Lou.

and the administrator in charge of helping me figure this out is useless to the point of being obstructive. i was nearly reduced to tears of frustration today.

i need scholarships. i need financial aid. i need to get out of america. i NEED to study abroad. i need to apply for other (cheaper[?]) programs.

and yes i have plenty of shit to do and no i don't want to do it; no one in their right mind wants to labor over a language they don't know very well, talking about a book they didn't really read - nor does anyone want to talk about a court case they fear they might not have comprehended in front of a lecture of 30 people. furthermore, i need more job-ness in my life.

i seriously want to bang my head and scream and cry in frustration. i like to think i'm not that easily frustrated, but this is the next year of my life we're talking about, and i *want* to be somewhere else for it. and everyone and their sister is asking me questions - well-meaning strangers, people on tours (i know, i should just keep my damn mouth shut), girls on my hall, relatives, coworkers, friends, and oh, yeah, two schools and my parents. like i know any more than they do. YOU tell me how to pay for it and i'll tell you if i can do it, okay?

gah. and prison today. it ends next week.

i'm just mentally drained right now, with not much end in sight. well, the end comes after *much* difficulty.

and shit!! i have to pack!