i went to sarah lawrence for a buzz and a hum. - michael moore

last night i had my first taste of what real depression must be like. i hated it. i never want to go back. i want to be better, now. feeling sad for no discernible reason and crying for extended periods of time are sooooo not me. but i fear they will take over if i do not take action soon.

the woman who is the subject of the post below ("the woman i love") was such a player last year. such a ladies' lady. and today she might have made a reference to "my boyfriend." i literally had the thought everyone dreads: did she just say "boyfriend"? though, granted, it's more disconcerting coming from the dykiest dyke to ever dyke her way across campus. that is QUITE a feat round these parts especially.

i spent two and a half hours in the presence of michael moore. it was nice. i like him lots, even though i feel a lot of pressure - some of which has been valid - has fallen on his head. he's not the messiah, he's just doing his thing. he's not ridiculously smarter than all of us (though he was quite noticeably smarter than most of the people questioning him). he is a gifted filmmaker. but we can do what he does. we can stir up shit. we just have to get out there and DO IT.

brigid pointed out to the crowd that michael moore is not running for something and he can't solve all our problems. this reminded me that brigid is actually quite the intelligent human being and a lot less annoying than many SLC people, because she can still speak english (even related to complicated topics!) and not academese. it also means i now have to be prepared to address what she addressed at our meeting (aw crap!) but we will probably have better turnout (woo!). and i am very glad i don't have to live with her anymore, no matter how smart and plainspoken she is.

i have such respect for the documentary film as a medium now, and it's not primarily moore that did that, it was my internship. i know i bring it up a lot, but this is actually a valid point and not me ego-stroking: how many documentaries have you watched in the past month, or year? i watched probably a dozen or so, maybe more, some of which i critiqued, over the course of three months. some were good and some were bad, all were works of love. i learned documentary filmmakers are hardworking, passionate people.

my body aches. and i can't give it time to recover until thursday. and fuck PE credit this semester, my ass is hardly eager to be dragged to the gym. i like CLASSES, damnit. i want someone directing my workout. i get bored!

the title of this post was the first thing michael moore said that prompted me to get out my notebook and write things down. he said many more quoteworthy things which i may share later. end transmission.