this is not a boating accident

(title comes from a surrealist poem or painting i saw somewhere and found hilarious)

little pieces of happy:
A. i've been wearing pearls these past two days. i'm trying to figure how i can shower in them.
B. my nails are painted blue. i'm a real girl!

i'm not crazy enough. my life is boring. i wish i'd gone to a state school. i want frat parties. i want to get drunk and make out. the parties here are all small. what am i saying? i wouldn't have anything to WEAR to such an event anyway.

i don't want to be in school anymore. to sum up: i never thought i would hate school or monotony. i don't feel like myself. i want to get drunk at frat parties and damn near date raped, or i want to live in the real world and struggle to make ends meet. at least i wouldn't be bored.

bumpersticker a friend saw: any kind of sex that can get you into hell is NOT safe sex.
my version: i ONLY want to have sex that can get me into hell or jail or both.

i'm not harassed on the street enough.
i don't experience street harassment at ALL. am i oblivious? i know i'm not horrendously ugly. in fact, i'm pretty attractive. but i've never been harassed, haven't had the creepy things happen to me like so many friends, haven't been asked out on dates by men twice my age.
so, if it's not because i'm fat (i know too many fat girls getting harassed too) and it's not being ugly that does it, why aren't i getting harassed? there's no way i'm doing EVERYTHING right, and i'm in the new york area, so it's not like people are just *too polite.* so what's up? my walk isn't THAT intimidating. i don't get it. i'm not tall enough to be imposing. i'm reasonably-straight looking. WTF?

i'm not complaining. just curious that this all-too-common phenomenon doesn't happen to me.