dreams

my dreams generally fall into one of four categories:

1. brutally violent. i cannot shake them off the next day because there is the image of a corpse - or two - in my head, and i watched them die. sometimes they don't even die. one dream involved an electrified grate on the roof of a house during a rainstorm, and worse.

2. sex with someone i would never have sex with, like sean or my SFCC english teacher.

3. people dying - but usually not in a horribly sad or violent way. just funerals. or dreams of dead people, where the dead appear. whenever i tell my mom about dreams like that, she asks if they speak in my dreams. sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. oddly enough, this scares me far less than your average grade-B zombie flick.

4. cigarettes. i dream about smoking them, about trying to quit, about smoking too many at once, about having to hide the cigarettes i smoke. i light the wrong ends of cigarettes. i have trouble lighting them. i inhale deeply. i wake up and the stench of smoke is in my nose. i can taste cigarettes. (or what i imagine they taste like.) i should note i've never smoked a single thing in my entire life.