dear C -
when you asked if i'm passionate about anything, my first response was to yell at you. to scream, really. in rage and protest that it isn't obvious - can't you see, i'm a very passionate person?! i wanted to be angry because the answer yes, i am passionate but no, i have no direction, no guiding principle. this scares the hell out of me, and i hate that it's so obvious to you. more honestly, no. i haven't found my passion (yet). i am searching, desperately, passionately, frantically, but it certainly isn't found. i have the capacity for great passion, i have ideas and principles about which i feel passionately - things that fire me up. but i lack guidance or a unifying theme. i know this; i know not how to remedy it.
furthermore, i am taken aback by your paternal tone in guiding me.
my own defensiveness aside, i have thought (perhaps without scrutiny) about this institution and my involvement. this place is exclusive, it is structured differently (somewhat), and marketed the same as other places. it practices tokenism, both within the administration and among the student body. the school claims alternative values but, like any other college, its practices include indirect (and direct) worker exploitation, gentrification, a promotion of unethical consumerism, and is just all-around a bad neighbor. some instances are flagrant - the appropriation of a Bronxville area code, the buying of Hill House and driving out its residents - and some less so. there are claims the student body becomes more mainstream every year. when the more "radical" students DO raise a ruckus the school takes steps to pacify and compromise, followed by a typical institutional inaction.
of course it is up to students to hold the school accountable, and of course SLC kids have a good opportunity to do that and maybe one day even become a model for it. of course we must demand transparency from a place that wants to claim a legacy of activism and liberalism but still requires Flik workers to come in on snow days and Flora workers to go for 24 hours straight. yes, it is our job to keep the administration honest if they won't do it themselves, and they have proven they won't. we should do this not because we are bleeding heart liberals and not because it will resolve our guilt. we should do this because it's the right thing to do, and because this school misrepresents itself to everyone and their sister each time it claims to be a shining example of "difference." the cynicism displayed on the part of the admin - through reluctance and resistance to change, via negative responses to the most idealistic and revolutionary of students - is disheartening. the cruel joke of a marketing ploy - you are different, so are we - is simply a lie. we are not different by much. the student body, through its inaction, is failing what
should be the ideals of the school as much as the administration failed to ever attempt them. it's
our school, and we have to take it back.
________________________________
you raised the question of what the "activists" on this campus will fight for. much of it, of course, is self-serving. we want HIV testing on campus because we are too damn lazy (or scared) to get on a bus or train and go get tested for free in the Bronx, because we want things at our fingertips. it would be more
just to raise a clamour about providing free HIV testing not only for students, but for workers, staff, and the surrounding communities as well. but that's dangerous because it might spark a discussion about the school's benefits (or lack thereof) for workers. we'll fill Empty Bellies in the Bronx but send Flik workers home without anything resembling a living wage. we'll teach at the Early Childhood Center but not question its admissions practices. hell, we'll work in admissions and not question our
own admissions practices, much less our recruiting tactics. hello, where is the dialogue about Fall and Spring Collective? is it really appropriate for this school, in the name of "diversity," to truck in people of color and have them watch panels and performances by other people of color, while we all pretend this campus doesn't reek of unexamined white privilege? when did that become
okay with everyone? how do the participants feel about it?
what about the decision not to let the Red Cross on campus for blood donation? yes, the FDA guidelines suck, but i personally will not allow a political belief to overshadow an opportunity to save lives. the school prioritized differently - it chose a political principle over saving lives. i disagree, and i want the opportunity to say so (okay, really, i want to yell at some whiteboys to stop whining about their "oppression," get over it and do something besides chase away the Blood Donation Bus, but that's just a personal whim). my point is, don't even
give me any bullshit about the lack of dialogue here, the apathy.
most students are not, at their core, apathetic. but a lot of them do not know how to get heard, and have spent years being brainwashed and internalizing a message of disempowerment. aside from holding the administration accountable, this is the biggest, most important task we face: giving students a new, innovative space to make themselves heard, and - here's the novelty -
actually acting upon their words.
this is the longterm solution we need,
this is the way we equip people with the tools for their own empowerment - by simply showing them their words can be acted upon. this is the elegantly simple way to have the profound impact we are hoping to achieve.
